Pneu-MANIAC: A Story

Once upon a time, there were two young ladies. They attended a boarding school, in order to better themselves and gain an MRS Degree. Their boarding school was called Grove City Boarding School. The two ladies were roommates, and were forced to share a very small room. In the room, they had many fun things, such as singing animals and outrageous costumes. The first girl was named Alissifer. She was a lovely young lady, and was known as being very kind and gentle. The other girl was named Molliferd, and she was loud and vivacious.

One cold winter day, Alissifer grew very ill. She had a high fever, and chills, and could not keep her eyes open. Her friend Molliferd was very worried, and took Alissifer to the village doctor in the middle of the night, along with their good friend Krimmelfer. The doctor’s name was Doctor Prince Charming–he was very young and attractive, but Alissifer was so sick that she simply did not care. Dr. Charming, unfortunately, was not a very good doctor, and mis-diagnosed Alissifer.

Alissifer spent the next few days feeling absolutely miserable. Early one morning, she decided that she simply could not take it anymore! She sent a letter (via servant) to her friend Erinimis, who called the local sheriff. The sheriff then took them both to the doctor’s home. Unfortunately, Dr. Prince Charming was out delivering a baby, so Alissifer was forced to see an older doctor, Dr. Santa Claus. He was rude and mean, but he properly diagnosed Alissifer: She had pneumonia.

Well, Alissifer’s parents, who were King and Queen of a far-off nation, were not pleased about her diagnosis. They immediately jumped into their hot air balloon and took Alisiffer away from Grove City Boarding School.

Molliferd was glad that her good friend was able to rest at home. Unfortunately, Alisiffer had left something behind at Grove City Boarding School: Her germs. Molliferd felt that she needed to do some serious cleaning, so she whipped out her sword (its name was Lysol) and began to decimate the germs. Those germs that could not be killed by Lysol were killed by her other friend, the washing machine.

There was only one problem: Molliferd wanted to disinfect some big pillows that neither Lysol nor Washing Machine could properly clean. She called her mother, who was residing at their chateau, Chateau de Pew, who suggested that cold air would kill the germs. Molliferd did what any young girl would do and listened to her mother.

She put all of the pillows outside, along with Alissifer’s stuffed frog, Calvin. It was a beautiful day, but very cold. Molliferd left all of the objects outside for a long time, and then decided to go to the dining hall to eat dinner with her friends.

Molliferd told her friend Coopaleeny about the pillows, and Coopaleeny thought it was all very funny. They were eating dinner, laughing about life, when suddenly, Coopaleeny’s eyes opened very wide. She said, “Oh, Molliferd!”

Molliferd realized that Coopaleeny was facing the window. She closed her eyes and said, “It’s snowing, isn’t it?” Coopaleeny nodded, and Molliferd turned to face the window. It wasn’t just snowing, it was BLIZZARDING.

Molliferd and Coopaleeny ran toward their boarding house, passing many snow-covered students along the way. Both had images of snow-covered, frozen frogs and pillows dancing through their heads.

And their imaginations were not far off.

Alissifer’s frog, Calvin, had blown into the garden and was completely covered in snow. Molliferd did not know if he would survive the horrible hypothermia, but Coopaleeny managed to save his life just in time.

The pillows were also snow covered, but Molliferd and Coopaleeny also managed to save them.

The pillows and frog dried out a bit, and are now dry and disinfected. Alissifer returned to the boarding school via hot air balloon, and is feeling much better. She and Molliferd still have not received their MRS Degrees, but are very close to earning bachelor’s degrees in useless subjects. They are currently unemployed, and will be spending Valentine’s Day in the Castle of Career Services with King Thrasher.

The End.

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